Upset

Dear Heart,

In 2 days time, it will be our 1^st Anniversary. I have so many things that I just want to do together with him only and nobody else involves but he thinks the other.  We will celebrate a few days late as that is the only time that we can meet.  The 1^st day we’ll be busy until the afternoon.  We only have time from the afternoon until mid-night to celebrate as the next day he wants us to go somewhere else with his friend.  

We only have 1 night together and I feel very sad.  I do not know how to tell him.  All I wanted to do is spend time with him only and all he wanted to do is spending time with his friend with me besides him.  I feel very sad.  Seriously upset.  

Dear heart…

Please give me patience for me to endure this.

Till we meet again..

Present

Dear Heart,
He is here with me now...
He arrived this morning...
Now, at present time.. i am so happy..
I'm going to cook breakfast after this.

Dear Heart,
It feels complete now..
He will be here for 5 days.. Yeay..

Ok.. till you meet again Heart...

Clear

Dear Heart,
Today we cleared all the issues that we have..
We being honest with each other how we feel...
and now i feel so much better...

Dear Heart,
Being honest is so much better than keep everything inside..
But being too honest is dangerous as you might hurt the other feelings..
Just say what are importants and facts..
Don't overdo things..

Ok Heart,
Until we meet again..

Daa.. Dii Do...

arrival..

Dear Heart..
I safely arrived in Dubai at 400pm today..
I received a message from him regarding his day..
He's so happy going there..
With his friend and the other 2 ladies friends is also there..

It is painful but i cannot say anything..
I has been advised that man doesn't like jealousy thing..
It's not so much of jealous..
It's sad knowing that he is happy evetho i am not there..

Dear Heart,
Sometimes i feel as if he is still not finish being single..
Sometimes i feel he doesn't really need me..
Sometime i feel, i am the last person in his mind..

i did a test one day, i didn't message him for a day..
And around 8pm he realized that he didn't speak to me..
Until today i still hurt..
Knowing that my mind cannot stop thinking about him since morning..
Sometime i think.. "how little important i am to  him.."

Dear Heart,
I think he knows that i'll feel sad if he go to Kudat..
But i think he really wanna go that he didn't think twice..
Sometime i feel, that he feel much more happening going there with his friends than travel with me..

Dear Heart,
Please help me..
I cannot say anything to him..
But i hope after i wrote this, you (my heart) will fell better..

Take care heart..

Kudat

Dear Heart,
He'll be going to Kudat with his friends..
I don't know why you (my heart) ache so much..

I asked him to go to Kudat before..
To visit the tips of Borneo...
But we don't have the time...
He said, we need to postpone it to some other time..

Dear Heart,
Now, he'll be going without me,
With his friends.. to fill in the time for the long Chinese New yr holidays..
i cannot stop him coz he'll be bored, alone at the hotel..
But, my heart still ache.. knowing he'll be having a great time without me..

Dear Heart,
Everyday I cry, knowing that i am not there for him..
when he's sad or frustrated with his work..
when he's happy & having a great time...
When he's hungry.. When he has headache..
When he is sick..

Dear Heart,
Am I a good wife?
I am only there for a few days each month..
and when we skype, sometimes we don't know what to say to each other...
I am scared.. i am really scared...

Ya Allah,
I pray to you that we will be together..
I pray to you that i can move back...

Good nite heart...

Good News

Dear Heart,
I am so happy today..
Today he asked me to go for a long holiday...
He planned it to be in may or June...
I felt so happy that i wanted to dance and jump..
hihihi..

Dear heart,
That small news can make me happy..

Please make me feel happy a bit longer..
As i am alone here...


Till we meet again..

My heart

Dear Heart,
Today i feel so sad..
i cannot hide it anymore..
i will only tell you my dear heart..
so please keep it low...

When i talked, he didn't even reply..
so focus on the movie in front..
i am crying on the inside..
on the outside, i managed to hide...

ohh.. heart...
please be strong..
i cannot hide anymore..
my tear drops in front of him..
and he still didn't realise..
i quickly wipe...
and continue to cry inside...

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